Fake it till you make it.
I hate this phrase.
Why do we need to be fake? Why not show up fully in our messy beautiful selves? Why cant we cry when we are holding back or ask questions when we don’t know the answers? Why cant we let that person know how much you really do care when you’re holding back love and say you’re scared, hurt, excited, struggling or laughing on the inside?
Why do we need to be fake?
“Don’t show your emotions in business.”
I was recently having a completely random conversation with a funeral director. Sales and party planning- with a twist. I was doing what I always do, asking a million questions. She spoke of this deep care that she develops with the families that she works with daily. She spoke of how hard it is to remain detached and not show emotions. “Stay a professional. In the business world it’s not appropriate to show emotions.” She says as water falls out of her eyes and she apologizes for sharing too much with me.
What if she did share? What if the families truly felt the empathy that she feels? It would be a soft landing for the heartbroken families and probably wouldn’t feel like sales anymore.
The other night I was leading a coaching workshop for a group of women. One woman was struggling with letting a customers know all that she is doing for his company without tooting her own horn. Why not toot that horn? Take the opportunity to express brilliant efforts. Allow the customer or whomever to truly see the value.
Holding back your value and playing small is not doing you any good.
I use to get nervous before every first date. I would think about what I might have hanging out of my nose; meanwhile calmly smiling and nodding my head. I hold back and dampen my real, somewhat silly self in business settings. I play small and don’t talk about my coaching of how much value I know I can bring. I sometime play it cool when sometimes I am just confused, awkward or scared.
I am still figuring out this human journey we are walking together.
What if we all played out Jim Carrey in Liar Liar or every hilarious kid under the age of six? What if we showed up unabashedly as ourselves?
Of course, this doesn’t mean vomit your emotions all over every innocent bystander or behave like some unnamed politicians. But can you show up 10% more authentic, more real?
Connection is only made through vulnerability, real talk. Allowing yourself to be that breath of fresh air in a world hiding behind the notion of ‘faking it’ and photoshop perfection.
This is exactly the mission in my coaching. I get to help people to be unapologetically themselves. To use communication as a means to connect and in part be incredibly successful.
There are movements for real food, stopping GMOs and fake fast food. Where is the support for real people, real emotions and real conversations?
This is what the world is craving. The ones brave enough to walk the thin branches of authenticity. Poof! It instantly giving everyone around them the okay sign to do the same. Its science baby.
Are you willing to show up in all your glorious colors? Or as my girl Marianne Williamson said perfectly. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure… Your playing small does not serve the world.”
Want to drop that precious guard and express yourself freely and powerfully? I have just the thing for you if you’re game for some powerful coaching by yours truly.
It’s been real.
P.S.- I will be rolling out a new podcast!
Real talk interviews with professionals from all walks of life. On their journeys, lessons learned and expect advice. Letting the listeners get first hand useful information and feel a little more connected in a distracted world.